It was pointed out to me that I have two distinct voices.

One is a deeper voice, used when I’m feeling reserved or shy. Strangers and new faces often are met with these lower octaves.

The other is my regular speaking voice, which tends to show up as I get more comfortable.

What is particularly interesting is that I don’t directly control this aspect of my voice.

When told, I was startled and a little bit confused.

As the years have progressed, I’ve learned this is indeed true.

I’d be out in public with friends I’ve known for years, and they’d point out my interactions with others uses this deeper voice.

I feel this mechanism is rooted in vulnerability.

When I’m comfortable with those in my surroundings, I let my guard down. This guard and my voice work together. Most of my friends, close family, and colleagues will only recognize this voice.

When I feel the contrary, my deeper voice will kick in. Strangers, acquaintances and people I can’t be vulnerable with will recognize this voice.

I reconnected with some old friends from many years ago, and they exclaimed that my voice got deeper. It certainly did not. In that instant, I recognized that I was likely not comfortable with them. The friendship we once had dissipated.

I was somewhat disappointed when I made myself aware of this.

That’s the cycle of life, though.

I think Nas says it best when he says,

“But, uh – a thug changes and love changes and best friends become strangers”.