Paarth Madan

A medium to iterate on my own thoughts.

Video Calls

Posted at — Feb 5, 2021

The year of video calls.

At work.
At school.
At social gatherings.

I don’t find video calls particularly enticing.

Every time I join a call, there’s a person starting at me. Mimicking each gesture I do, copying every facial reaction I perform, and feeling as anxious as I do.

192x108 pixels stare at me.

The little, mirrored preview of myself is the enemy.


On video calls, I juggle between engaging in conversation and sporadically monitoring my preview.

This strains my ability to participate in conversation as best as I can.

In person, these same problems existed, but perhaps on a narrower level. I found that with little time into the conversation, I eased into the room. I could read body language and place myself, socially, within the setting.

Now, it’s rare that I can hold a genuine conversation.

The flow of the conversation – or at least how I perceive it – is interrupted by the realization of myself.

A quick glance into the corner of the screen removes me from an excellent conversation.

I go back to worrying.

I think it’s an interesting insight. In person, a true, genuine, exciting conversation is one where I forget about the notion of the self. As a result, I’m present in the conversation.

Now, I’m always reminded of the self, and thus, I’m rarely present in the conversation.

Perhaps this problem would occur in person too, granted I was followed around by a mirror.


Maybe this all speaks to my ego. I prioritize the notion of myself quite highly, and video calls are simply mirrors of this.


To conclude, let’s deprioritize this entire problem.

I’m grateful I can engage on video calls.

I’m grateful I can work from home, especially when others cannot.

I’m grateful I live in a technological age where social interaction is still possible.

I’m grateful for the friends, peers, colleagues, and professors who possibly go through similar struggles, and still show up.

comments powered by Disqus