Paarth Madan

A medium to iterate on my own thoughts.


Posted at — May 3, 2021

I’m somewhat stressed about the upcoming week.

When I made myself aware of this, writing a post seemed like a good idea.

I have been presented with the opportunity to lead a meeting at work. I intend on sharing some ideas I’ve been developing over the last few months. I’ve organized many meetings over my career—just none like this. This meeting is unique. It’s amongst our team and senior technical leadership. The purpose is to align on the direction for the project and, in some sense, acquire approval.

Now, I’d say I’m a personable person so, I wonder: where’s this stress coming from? Well, I believe it’s rooted in respect.

I admire and respect those in attendance. To be clear, I don’t idolize titles or allocate respect as a result of seniority. Instead, I’m drawn to their ideas, thought processes, and impact throughout the organization. People that I model my craft after and seek to learn through.

As I write, it’s becoming clear that my ego has a hand in this stress. The notion of my ego attaches value to feeling accepted in this group. When put that way, it seems naive and foolish.

It certainly is.

I remind myself that what I truly seek is meaningful work and the ability to improve my craft—both of which are attainable without ego.

After all, this meeting should be a surface area to help build the most impactful piece of software.

Tangentially, stress is an important signal. I love stress because its byproduct is growth.

Stress is a signal that tells my mind and body to adapt; one that demands increased performance and presents an opportunity to excel—to expand.

I’m in an uncomfortable circumstance, and I’m forever grateful for it.

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