Paarth Madan

A medium to iterate on my own thoughts.

Purpose: Kids

Posted at — Dec 30, 2020

This post is a part of a series where I explore my purpose in life.

Recently, I’ve started to explore what my purpose in life is.

It’s been difficult. I’ve been at war with myself, trying to determine where my purpose lies.

The difficulty lies in differentiating between what I think my purpose should be, and what my actual purpose is.

Despite the difficulty, all of my lines of thinking reach the following conclusion:

I want to have kids of my own.

I imagine kids are a cheat code for gaining purpose.

The feeling of embracing your child for the first time likely cements your true unconditional love for them.

It’s a one of a kind relationship.

I hope to, one day, understand what my parents went through, how their perception of life shifted, and all that I took for granted.

I want to be the best father I can be. I hope to be there for my kids and to help them see how beautiful life is. To show them I don’t know everything, and teach them that which I do know.

To experience unconditional love, and grip with the difficulty of detaching from it.

To observe them as they grow; to observe me as I grow.

To make mistakes: the same mistakes my parents made, and different ones too. Then, to later realize there are no mistakes.

To think for the long term. To fight my paternal instinct to give them everything, and let them experience life as it is.

I hope to be the best model of behaviour I can be – and to learn that even my flaws will be on display.

To have my kids mirror me, and break me with their honesty.

To realize all I’ve just written is wrong.

I look forward to that chapter of life if it does come.

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