Paarth Madan

A medium to iterate on my own thoughts.

Casual Dating

Posted at — May 31, 2021

To swipe left or right…or not to swipe at all?

Casual dating is an interesting concept.

It’s also never one I’ve considered.

I’ve most certainly swiped left (or right?) on the idea of using a construct designed specifically to meet someone.

I find it disingenuous or unauthentic. I find it very off-putting to meet someone with the sole intention of meeting someone.

I’ll be the first to recognize this as an unexamined belief, though.

I still hold the child-like understanding that the you’ll meet someone spontaneously within the movement of life. I think it’s worth examining this belief before I proceed.

Let’s assume one of your goals in life is to have kids.

It follows, then, that it’s in your best interest to find an ideal partner to have and raise kids with.


Well, how do you go about finding this person? I suppose the mathematical approach is to meet as many people as possible. Develop relationships and sift through. The larger the surface area, the more likely you’ll find the right person.


Maybe there is no right person, though. I believe we’re all capable of developing chemistry with one another, especially when given enough time. After all, as humans our differences are much smaller as compared to our similarities.

As I work through this, I don’t believe the concept of intentional dating is backwards, perhaps just the intention.

I think where my distaste lies is in the admittance of seeking someone else for fulfillment. If you go into dating to find someone to complete you, be the missing puzzle of your life, or to provide you happiness—this is dangerous.

I suppose the best time to date is when you’re completely happy on your own.

It seems like there’s 3 versions of Paarth that are in internal war:

Stupid Paarth™ thinks that a partner will be found in serendipity; meeting at the edge of a waterfall, or drinking a cup of coffee in a cafe in Charlottetown. A bike ride on Harbourfront or during a cooking class.

Smart Paarth™ believes that he doesn’t need anyone, so won’t attempt to look.

Wise Paarth™ doesn’t know anything.

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